Connor, my former co-leader at Indian Creek Community Church, asked me to help with one of her homework assignments that entailed an interview about parenting. I wanted to post my answers just so I can look back years from now and see if my opinions have changed.
I would say being the one responsible for shaping and molding your children for the future. Giving them the tools they need to make good decisions, while supporting their unique personalities and encouraging them to be true to themselves from the inside out.
2) What is the greatest reward of being a parent?
Being witness to their success; big or small - any milestone they have overcome in every stage of life has been something they have done on their own, in their own time. It is truly a blessing to get to be the one who knows how long it took, how hard they worked to sit or stand or walk or learn to count to 100. It’s amazing to watch them grow.
3) What is the biggest challenge of parenting?
The biggest challenge is helping them to understand why you say no or why they get in trouble. It is constantly flipping back and forth between “You’re 5, you can do this on your own” to “I’m the parent, you’re the child and that’s why I make the rules and you don’t.” It can be confusing for them, I’m sure, so it’s finding a middle ground and coaching them to compromise between following the rules and providing structure and them having responsibilities within those means.
4) Why/how did you decide to become a parent?
When I found out I was pregnant with my first child, my life situation was not what society standards said was ideal for deciding to have a child. But in my heart and soul I knew that as unsure as I was about what I wanted to do with my life and career, I was so certain that I wanted to be a Mother. The timing is never “right,” but I had graduated from college and was ready. I was so ready.
5) Do you feel parenting skills are innate?
I feel parenting skills, just like any other “skills” are something that comes easier or harder for different people. Some parents have 13 kids, some have 1 and some have none, which is all an individual example, not of how capable they are of raising children, but maybe why they have 2 or 13 children – because of how easily or not easily parenting is for them.
6) Where did/do you obtain your most helpful sources for developing parenting skills?
My Father and his wife, Lori, have been great examples of how to communicate with children without yelling or spanking. They really make a point of using positive reinforcement and turning every obstacle into a fun game for the kids, which they are much more likely to dig into. As far as raising a newborn, I was on the phone with my older sister, Lindsey, daily. Not only was she the first to become a Mommy and had broken the ice with real life experiences, she is also a Nurse Practitioner.
7) Do you feel parenting education is important? Why or why not?
Everyone should believe in continuing education. The more you know, the better off your children will be.
8) How is the world different today for your children compared to when you were a child?
I think the world of Internet and cellular phones are the most dramatic difference. I didn’t touch a computer until fourth grade, while my daughter plays online every week and started learning how to use a mouse in daycare. It will be so interesting for me to see how school is different with every answer to every homework questions seems to be available on Google. And, of course, children are experimenting with sex at a much earlier age in life. You have to start preparing them and educating them so much sooner than my parents did.
9) What is your biggest concern about raising children in today's world?
My biggest concern is the amount of people in the world who want to cause harm to them having such a medium as the Internet to gain faster, easier access to them. I am also concerned about the amount of television they watch and the obesity factor in America. They are tempted at every turn to over eat and then sit on their butts and do nothing. I am also concerned about what the retirement age will be by the time they get to that stage in their life and what healthcare will be like when they need it.
10) What do you think makes a strong family?
Families that work together as a team; parents who include their children in real-life decisions and don’t “shelter” them from what it takes to run a household, earn money, and real-world news and events.
11) If you could give one piece of advice for an expecting parent what would it be?
I would advise them to savor every moment. As a parent you hear over and over how quickly they grow up, which is absolutely true, but you also need to hear that with every difficult or good phase, this too, in time, shall pass. Some days will fly by and some days will drag on forever. Don’t ever punish yourself for making mistakes or expect that you will be a perfect parent. You’ll learn just as much as your child does on a daily basis, and it doesn’t happen overnight. You grow together – and that’s what being a parent is all about. Do what works for you, not anyone else. It takes a village to raise a child and the more role models you can introduce into your child’s’ life the better equipped they will be in the future. And take outside advice with a grain of salt – after all, no one knows you or your child better than you do.
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